Be Yourself. Be Beautiful.

Summary

This talk is a question-and-answer session held on July 18, 2013 in the Assembly of Stars Meditation Hall in the Lower Hamlet of Plum Village. Thich Nhat Hanh begins by explaining the format of the session: children ask first, then teenagers, young adults, and finally the rest of the community. He emphasizes that a good question should come from the heart and relate to real suffering, happiness, and practice. He also describes the tradition of breathing with the bell before speaking, underscoring the importance of presence, simplicity, and shared participation in the Sangha. A major theme is how to make each day a “good day.” Thich Nhat Hanh explains that while people often wish one another a good day, the quality of the day depends largely on one’s practice. Through mindful breathing, mindful walking, and the ability to recognize and embrace painful feelings, a person can transform difficult circumstances and suffer less. He gives examples of everyday frustrations such as unkind speech, transportation delays, or accidents, and explains that mindfulness and compassion allow one to respond without being overwhelmed. He also notes that when children or classmates act violently, they are often expressing their own suffering, and understanding this can prevent anger and create compassion. The talk then moves into a discussion of body and mind. Thich Nhat Hanh rejects the idea that body and mind are separate entities, comparing them to the left and right sides of a sheet of paper: each depends on the other. He explains the Buddhist notion of interbeing, the insight that nothing exists independently. Body and mind influence each other continuously, and modern medicine also recognizes that caring for one requires caring for the other. He further notes that everything perceived by the mind—houses, mountains, rivers, stars, books—is an object of mind and cannot be separated from consciousness. He leaves open the deeper question of what happens when the body dies and invites continued inquiry rather than immediate certainty. Several children’s questions follow. One asks how Thich Nhat Hanh became a monk. He recounts seeing an image of the Buddha as a peaceful, happy figure when he was a child, and how that image planted the aspiration to become like the Buddha. Another asks about the difference between soul, spirit, and mind. He explains that different cultures and traditions use different terms, including Vietnamese notions such as hồn and vía, but warns against getting trapped in dualistic thinking that separates body from soul or spirit. He also refers to Buddhist psychology and the eight consciousnesses, including store consciousness and self-consciousness, to show the complexity of inner life. The discussion turns to ordination and age. When asked how old one must be to become a monk, he replies that a child who can care for himself or herself may be ready, and he mentions examples of young ordinations in the Plum Village tradition. He then addresses a child’s question about making a mother happy when she is angry, advising deep breathing, smiling, and asking loving questions. Forgiveness is another major topic. Thich Nhat Hanh explains that forgiveness is easier when one understands the other person’s suffering and unskillfulness. He encourages asking not only for forgiveness but also for help in recognizing and stopping harmful habits before they are repeated. He also responds to a question about why he trains disciples rather than “masters.” He says that every student must also become a master, because the teacher should be internalized. A true student learns to consult the teacher within and, through practice, becomes capable of teaching others by example. This leads into a discussion of love. In response to a question about romantic love and love for Mother Earth, he explains that the Buddha teaches true love, which has four elements: loving kindness, compassion, joy, and inclusiveness. Romantic love is not rejected, but it must contain these qualities to be genuine and not cause suffering. True love expands beyond one person to embrace all beings, including animals, plants, and minerals. Another important section addresses healing, especially in the context of Korea, where many people feel loneliness and sadness. Thich Nhat Hanh says that healing society begins with healing oneself. He warns against consuming violent media, toxic conversation, and harmful products, and identifies mindful consumption as essential to well-being. He broadens the idea of consumption to include food, media, books, conversation, and the internet. Because society is collectively sick, he argues, individuals need a Sangha—a community of practice—to support healing and transformation. He describes the Sangha as essential to the Buddha’s own success and recalls his efforts to build Sanghas in Europe and America after exile from Vietnam, including his reflections on Martin Luther King Jr. and the importance of community-based practice. The final major theme is beauty, self-confidence, and Mother Earth. In response to a question about bodily confidence and appearance, he teaches that Mother Earth is beautiful without cosmetics or self-assertion, and that human beings are her children and therefore already carry her beauty within them. He stresses non-discrimination as a quality of Mother Earth and as a practice humans should cultivate. He then introduces the Plum Village pebble meditation for children, in which four pebbles symbolize flower, mountain, still water, and space. These represent freshness, solidity, peace, and freedom. Through this practice, one restores natural beauty and confidence without relying on cosmetics or plastic surgery. The talk concludes by inviting the community to walking meditation and a formal meal, reinforcing the integration of teaching, practice, and communal life.