Call Your Cows By Their True Name

Summary

The talk is a Dharma teaching given on the second day of the retreat “Cultivating the Mind of Love” at Magnolia Grove Meditation Practice Center on September 29, 2011. The central theme is that the best gift one can offer a loved one is not a material object, but true presence. The speaker illustrates this with the story of an unhappy eleven-year-old boy whose wealthy father is too busy with business and the stock market to be emotionally available. The boy’s real wish is not a toy or device, but simply, “Daddy, it’s you that I want.” This example is used to show that love means being truly there for another person, and that mindfulness is the practice that makes such presence possible. The teaching emphasizes that mindfulness allows a person to stop thinking about the past and future, release worries and projects, and return to the body and the present moment. The first mantra taught in Plum Village is presented as a practical expression of this insight: “Darling, I am here for you.” The speaker explains that this mantra works only when one is genuinely present, mind and body together. Even when the loved one is not physically nearby, the same quality of presence can be expressed by phone or in daily interactions. The talk frames this as a simple but profound practice that does not require money or special conditions, only mindfulness. A major portion of the talk is devoted to pebble meditation, a practice originally taught to children but appreciated by adults as well. The four pebbles symbolize flower, mountain, still water, and space. These images are used to cultivate freshness, stability, calm, and freedom. The first pebble helps practitioners recognize themselves as a flower, restoring freshness and beauty. The second represents a mountain, cultivating solidity and reliability. The third is still water, which reflects reality clearly and helps reduce wrong perceptions that give rise to anger, fear, and violence. The fourth symbolizes space, allowing the heart to become spacious and free from craving, worry, and possessiveness. The speaker repeatedly returns to the idea that a person who is fresh, solid, calm, and spacious has something valuable to offer to others. The talk then shifts to the Buddha’s sixteen exercises of mindful breathing from the Anapanasati Sutta, focusing on the first eight. The first four exercises concern the body: recognizing the in-breath and out-breath, following the breath from beginning to end, becoming aware of the body, and releasing tension in the body. The speaker explains that these practices help bring the mind home to the body, restore the unity of body and mind, and allow the body’s natural healing capacity to function. The talk includes examples from modern life, such as people who spend long hours at computers, and a visit by the Sangha to the Google Center in Northern California, where many participants experienced meditation and mindful living for the first time. The body section also includes a body-scan-like practice in which one becomes aware of each organ and body part with compassion and gratitude. The speaker notes that the heart, liver, eyes, and other organs work continuously for the practitioner, and that mindful awareness can inspire healthier behavior and appreciation. The teaching stresses that rest, relaxation, and compassionate attention are often more effective than relying only on medicine. The next four exercises concern feelings. The fifth and sixth exercises are to generate joy and happiness, and the speaker explains that mindfulness and concentration are sources of happiness available in the present moment. The teaching of drstadharmasukhavihara, living happily in the present moment, is highlighted as a repeated theme in a discourse the Buddha gave to businessmen. The story of Anathapindika, also called Sudatta, is introduced as an example of a wealthy lay follower who supported the Buddha, the Dharma, and the Sangha. The speaker uses this story to show that even busy people can learn to dwell happily in the present rather than chasing future success. The talk also emphasizes letting go as a source of joy. The speaker uses the image of “cows” as attachments or ideas that people cling to as conditions for happiness. Letting go of such fixed ideas, possessions, or habits can immediately create more freedom and joy. The final part of the talk turns to the seventh and eighth exercises: recognizing painful feelings and embracing them tenderly. The speaker explains that practitioners should not run away from pain, fear, or despair, but should first generate enough mindfulness and concentration to hold suffering with care, like a mother holding a crying baby. The Sangha is presented as an important support for this process, especially when individual practice is not yet strong enough. Overall, the talk presents mindfulness as a practical, embodied path to love, happiness, healing, and freedom. It links ancient Buddhist teachings from the Anapanasati Sutta with everyday life, family relationships, business concerns, children’s practice, and modern workplaces. The conclusion is that true love is expressed through presence, and that mindfulness makes it possible to be fully there for oneself and others.