…which is a heroic stance if you're trying to produce Melvillian opera out of your life. You know, Ahab says in Moby Dick, he's talking to his first mate, Starbuck, who signifies Christian right reason, and he says, he's raving about going after the whale,…

…man and a nearby star is the finest expression of the dominator ego I can imagine. And of course, You know, the story of Moby Dick can be read on many levels, but finally it is the story of the submersion of the male ego in the oceans of the…

…reality is overcome by the quantum mechanical, wave mechanical maternal face behind appearances. And again, you know, it must be Moby Dick morning. Ahab says, if you would strike, strike through the mask. It is behind the mask. Reality is a mask because…

…forth and so on. I mean, it is a very authored feeling to reality, and it hints that, as it says in Moby Dick, all visible things are but as pasteboard masks, if you would strike, strike through the mask and similarly observe obsessed and transcendental…

…pasteboard masks, if you would strike, strike through the mask and similarly observe obsessed and transcendental ravings. I just saw Moby Dick recently. I knew that Ray Bradbury had done the screenplay, and it's brilliant. But what I had forgotten was that…

…ago, and it surprised me. I'm trying to think of the books that really influenced my life. And I thought of, you know, Moby Dick and Huxley's doors of perception. But then when I really got down on it, I realized that a little tiny book Huxley wrote…

…think people who are insane in the way that you're concerned about and that I'm concerned about know it, it's not something. And I think Dick was the great exemplar in this area. I mean, he was nuts and he knew it and he managed it and worked with it…

…I go back to that doctor. And I did that until I came to asthma seven years ago. And when I came here, I came to meet Dick and work with him and asking to work with me. And he took me under his wing for six weeks and worked with me every other…

…And what I had then, David, was I had permission to go through it and he was going to be there with me. And then Dick died. You know, he hiked Monday, Wednesday and Friday. On Monday he said to me, you're, are you ready to go up here by yourself?…

…and somehow ended up in San Diego in the hospital, got on some new kind of medication. And that's been the pattern too. But when Dick was here and I felt like there was a support to go through it, that felt okay, you know? And then now when it comes…

…that when it comes up I'm going to have to run away. I don't feel a support anymore here. And what haunts me is that Dick. Wanted to have that. That was his dream. I know he's dead and it's not his place anymore, but his dream was to have a…

…do you really cognize notions like the future, the past, where I've been, what I want? I mean, you know, it's in Moby Dick. Melville says, if you would strike, strike through the mask, everything is a mask. And just behind that mask lurks. Well, what?…

…of affinity and realize that the task of transformation is one of a lifetime. Our lifetimes, you know? And every time someone like Dick Price or Tony Lilly moves from the wheel I always wonder, you know, how did it feel to know it wasn't finished, you…

…it wasn't finished, you know, to go with it undone? And, oh, yes, I have no doubt that when the saucer comes that Tony or Dick will be in control. One of them. What is it Bob Dylan says in his song? Ezra Pound and TS Eliot fighting in the captain's…

…ago, and it surprised me. I'm trying to think of the books that really influenced my life. And I thought of, you know, Moby Dick and Huxley's doors of perception. But then when I really got down on it, I realized that a little tiny book Huxley wrote…