I Have a Big Family

Summary

The talk focuses on the Buddhist practice of transforming annoyance into compassion and constructive action. The speaker explains that when someone says or does something irritating, the practitioner initially feels affected and annoyed. However, through proper practice, that reaction can be observed and handled so that the words or actions of the other person no longer cause suffering. The speaker emphasizes that behind harmful behavior there is usually suffering in the other person, and recognizing that suffering gives rise to compassion rather than anger. From that compassionate understanding, one may be inspired to speak or act in ways that help the other person suffer less, which in turn reduces harm to everyone around them. The message presents this as a gradual process of training and practice rather than an immediate achievement. A second major theme is the importance of family in spiritual practice. The speaker expresses joy at having a large family and describes being nourished by a broad spiritual family made up of monks, nuns, and lay friends practicing together in France, Europe, Asia, and America. The speaker also notes that members of the blood family practice as well, and that practice can support both blood family and spiritual family at the same time. Whether one is a monastic or a lay practitioner, the benefits of practice extend outward to the family, bringing peace and stability. The speaker shares a personal memory of sitting meditation in which thoughts of the father arose. The father had tried meditation but had been too busy to succeed much. After becoming a monk, the speaker wanted to practice for both of them. In a moment of deep freedom and lightness during meditation, the speaker felt able to say, “Daddy, we have succeeded,” expressing that the practice had fulfilled something for both father and child. The talk also describes the scale and organization of the Plum Village community. The speaker mentions that many people practice there and that many countries in Europe request retreats regularly, including Italy, Switzerland, Germany, and England. Because it is impossible to travel everywhere every year, the community organizes a yearly Winter Retreat in Plum Village, lasting 90 days, during which the community remains together and does not travel. During the rest of the year, the community divides into smaller groups or sanghas to respond to invitations from local communities in different countries. This reflects a balance between rooted communal practice and outreach. The speaker then reflects on being away from the home country for 29 years and finally returning in 2005 to offer retreats, Dharma talks, and days of mindfulness. The homecoming was emotionally significant, and many people asked why the speaker did not return permanently. The response is that home is now everywhere, and that through practice people can feel close to the speaker whether the physical body is present or not. The talk concludes with a practical and forward-looking note: in the future, the sangha will arrange things so the speaker does not need to travel so much, especially because of old age. Younger practitioners are encouraged to travel and continue the work of bringing practice to others, including coming to Plum Village. The closing tone is warm and communal, ending with gratitude and a light reference to a bird, reinforcing the intimate, living atmosphere of the exchange.