c/esther-perel
Explore a rich audio collection of Esther Perel's talks and lectures. Discover profound psychological insights into modern relationships, love, and intimacy.
…really knows what she's talking about here. Here's what Esther said when we told her what you said. Tell her to read Emily Nagoski's book, Come As You Are. Nagoski, A-N-A-G-O-S-K-Y. Come As You Are. Because one of the things that's very important in what…
…Come As You Are. Nagoski, A-N-A-G-O-S-K-Y. Come As You Are. Because one of the things that's very important in what Emily talks about, it's exactly that, the brakes and the accelerators, the inhibitors, you know, the thoughts, the inhibiting cognitions, like…
…arousal. No. That's okay. And loads of people, particularly loads of women, have responsive desires. We're definitely opposite. Yes. So Emily Nagoski, in her book, Come As You Are, describes it very beautifully. You are responsive, but you're not going to…
…each language and in each country. Yeah. Okay. Definitely. Yeah, so grew up in suburban Connecticut, went to college in Canada, and met Emily there. So you both were actually kind of what they call foreign students. Yes. Yeah. I grew up in the suburbs of…
…roommate is a nightmare. And I have to move out. And like, what did I do? Yeah. And then? The night. Oh, the night. Yeah. Emily had something happen while I was back home. I was sleeping and she was out with her friends and came home and woke me up…
…them. That one's for them. I learned a lot at school and it wasn't all in school. Yes. And that's what I'll say. Emily was someone who was structured, did her readings. I, on the other, always went to class. Always went to class. Like, knew how…
…at least. I was happy to leave. I also think I should mention, and I don't actually think that this was so crucial, but Emily did have a boyfriend that final year. which we had not had before, either of us. That hadn't been part of the dynamic. Yeah.…
…relationship. And so we were both aware that, like, that's different than it had been in the past. Well, and I was like, Emily has, like, obligations and, you know, priorities. If she has another partner. Right. Exactly. But at the time I was like, it's…
…have just been like, yeah, actually this thing made me mad. Versus then like a year and a half goes by and I'm like, Emily must know that I'm upset and the things just keep stacking and she doesn't say anything to me. So they talk about resentment.…
…I'm getting emotional, like thinking about like everything we've been through and like, I've just never had friendship the way I did with Emily and it makes me so sad that my boyfriend and probably the love of my life doesn't know that and doesn't know…
…don't want to reach out to you to borrow your car because I'm like, that's weird. Like if I'm not hanging out with Emily and then I'm like, let me borrow your car, that feels transactional. You need those hangouts. Right. You need those small things.…